Due to popular demand for this service1, we are now extending this SPECIAL OFFER for a LIMITED TIME!

Have you ever wished for a dragon of your very own?
Wish no longer! Yes, folks, that's right, you can now ...

Rent a Baxil!

Over 75% Dragon Pure!2   Top-quality grade-A dragon!3   Quality certified!4

Baxil is child-safe, trained completely in English, and completely house-broken! He's a great companion for all ages! And best of all, he's affordable! For only a reasonable hourly rate5, think of all the fun you could have ... A dragon in your very own home!! WOW!

But not just any dragon!

Aside from having a big vaguely creepy helmet-noggin, Baxil has many special talents, skills and quirks6 that make him unique:

Have we convinced you yet?

No? Then let's list some of the other fun activities that you can do with your very own Baxil...

So order your Baxil today!

What're you waiting for? FILL OUT THIS FORM! Then print it out! Then take a photo of the printout! Then use OCR on the photo and e-mail the results to this webpage! (If you encounter technical problems while following these instructions, please contact us via ICQ UIN (206) 555-2294.)

Yes!! I am excited about this opportunity! Please RUSH me my Baxil! Here are the details of my order:

Number of hours to rent Baxil for14:    x $20.00/hr =
Payment options:   Cash   Visa   Mastercard   Discover   Gold pieces
I live in:  

Tell us a little bit about your plans for Baxil. (We require an accurate answer for insurance purposes. Please limit to 50 words or less.)

Footnotes, legalese, etc

This offer valid in all U.S. states, except for ones that don't border Alaska. This offer valid in all foreign countries whose official language is High Draconic. Not valid with any other offer. No cash value. Replace every 3,000 miles. Odds of winning are [ limx->0 (0/x) ]. Satisfaction guaranteed.15
  1. A report from Antwon of antwon.com that according to his server logs, someone had reached his site by doing a search on Google for the phrase "Baxil rental." But hey, it's consumer demand.
  2. Measured by the Draconity Purity Test. Yes, I know that 75% isn't nearly as high of a score as some people claim to have gotten. But I took the test seriously, not for some ditzy online role-playing persona. ];=8p
  3. In high school. College GPA ~ 3.7.
  4. Or at least certifiable.
  5. Meaning, you pay me. I'm not THAT desperate for company.
  6. One-point GURPS disadvantages.
  7. Okay, maybe not.
  8. Okay, DEFINITELY not.
  9. An exhaustive list currently including, but not necessarily limited to: "Half-life: Counterstrike."
  10. This is one of the "Quirks" mentioned above.
  11. Baxil reserves the right to subcontract.
  12. You'll still pay.
  13. You'll still pay.
  14. You may even rent Baxil for partial hours. He's a mathematician! He can use his kewl math skillz to figure out what to charge you!
  15. Ours.

Up to Baxil's index

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Page created Aug 28, 2K. Design (c) 2000 Tad "Baxil" Ramspott.