Now with new cards! See the bottom of the page!
You've waited for far too long. Seen far too many others. Now, in the spirit of presenting you with more of the same, it's this. This...the ....

UCSB Magic: The Gathering Expansion Set!!!!

It's terrifying! It's horrible! It's ... it's ... well, it's being illustrated already.

For example, here is a future card from the set ... "Smite!" (illustration 1). Illustration 2 may or may not be done by the same artist (me!), and Illustration 3 will be done by someone who can do a passable Drew Tucker imitation.
[Support your local image!  Load 
it today!] We have the card list available below, as well.

UC Santa Barbara Expansion Set (Created by Mike Thorpe 3/96)

San Nicholas - 1 for R, 2 for G/B, 3 for W/U
Santa Cruz - 1 for W, 2 for U/G, 3 for R/B
Santa Rosa - 1 for B, 2 for R/U, 3 for W/G
Anacapa - 1 for G, 2 for W/R, 3 for U/B
San Miguel - 1 for U, 2 for W/B, 3 for G/R

Poisoned Lagoon - Tap & sac to destroy target creature

MULTI LANDS - Have two colors; when first tapped for mana, choose one of 
  colors - from then on, that land produces that color mana. You may tap 
  change that color to the other.
B/U - Tarred Shoreline          U/R - Mountain Lake
B/G - Mud Hole                  U/W - Beach
B/R - Fire Pit                  G/R - Foothills
B/W - Ranch                     G/W - Sand Dunes
U/G - Lagoon                    R/W - Butte


Phoenix - Phoenix. R=+1/+0 (max 4/turn), RR Regenerate, Flying, 2/6, 3RR
Shrubbery - Wall, 0/6, GG
     "Bring us a shrubbery!" - Anonymous knight
Tupola - Tap to gain control of target legend. You lose control of target
  creature if Tupola leaves play, becomes untapped, or you lose control of
  Tupola. You may choose not to untap Tupola during your untap phase. 0/1 U
Math Professor - Professor. Tap+UU to place 0/1 TA token creature into play.
  3/4 2UUU
Physics Professor - Professor. Tap+UU to place 0/1 TA token creature into play.
  2/2 2UU
History Professor - Professor. Tap+UU to place 0/1 TA token creature into play.
  0/1 1U
English Professor - Professor. Tap+UU to place 0/1 TA token creature into play.
  1/1 UU
Chairperson - Lord. Gives all professors +1/+1. 2/3 1UU
Green Ouphe - Ouphe. Tap+1G to counter target creature effect with an
  activation cost. Play this ability as an interrupt. 1/1 1G
     "Eeep!" - Meesla, Ouphe prophet
Football Player - Player. RR +1/+0 until end of turn. 4/1 2R
Baseball Player - Player. 1RR +1/+1 until end of turn. 3/2 2R
Sportscaster - Lord. Gives all players -1/-1. 1/1 R
Coach - Lord. Gives all players +1/+1. 1/1 RR
Sunbather - Bimbo. Doesn't tap to attack. 2/2 WW
     "Look at the counters on that one!" - Damien Maher, frisbee player
Mr. Thorpe - Lord Lord. Gives all Lords +1/+1. 2/2 BBB
IVFP Officer - Officer. Trample. 7/2 3UU
     "Shut up and sit down!!!" - Hank, IVFP Officer


Elisabeth Gwinn - Tap to prevent target creature from attacking this turn.
  2/4, 2BB
     "Zzzzzzzzzz..." - Unknown student
Charles Ryavec - RGW+Tap to give target creature +3/+0, +2/+1, +1/+2, or +0/+3
  until end of turn. 1/1, RGW
Sauerwein - Legendary Collector. Tap+sac creature or artifact to place it under
  Sauerwein. Tap+sac Sauerwein to place the cards under it directly into play.
  Treat creatures placed into play this way as though they were just summoned.
  0/1, 1UUW
Nate - Legend. Comes into play tapped. Tap+sac; when both players run out of
  cards, compare life totals to determine winner of the match. 3/6 1RRBB
     "DEATH WISH!!! COOL!!!" - Michael Thorpe, higher deity
Phil - Legendary Deity. Tap to darn any creature. When any darned creature
  receives lethal damage and is not regenerated, place it in the graveyard.
  1/2 B
     "I am the Prince of Insufficient Light!" - Phil, hired deity
Brian - Legend. Tap to destroy target wall. 4/7 3RUB
Dr. Freedman - Legendary Professor. Gives all professors -1/-1. 1/1 B
Tad Ramspott - Dragon Legend. Flying. Upkeep: GGG. When Tad comes into
  play, place a -5/+3 Human counter on Tad. Tap: remove a Human counter from
  Tad. Tap: place a -5/+3 Human counter on Tad. This ability cannot be used
  if there is already a Human counter on Tad. While there is a Human counter on
  Tad, Tad does not fly. 7/7 3GGGGG
Paco - Legendary Cat. At the end of any turn in which Paco was declared as a
  blocker, place a +5/+0 Fluff counter on Paco, unless there was already a
  Fluff counter on Paco. At the end of any turn in which Paco was declared as
  an attacker, remove all Fluff counters from Paco. Only one creature may be
  assigned to block Paco. 0/6 2RRR
     "Here, kitty, kitty..." - Mark Ruhler, last words

Bank of Thorpe - 2+Tap+sac a creature you control to place X money counters on
  Bank of Thorpe, where X is the casting cost of the creature sacrificed. 0:
  Remove X money counters from Bank of Thorpe to add X colorless mana to your
  mana pool. 4

Sunburn - Place a -1/-2 counter on all creatures in play. 1RR
Genetic Link - Sacrifice creature you control. Permanently append ability text
  of sacrificed creature after ability text of target creature you control. 2UU
Music - You win game unless opponent antes an additional card. Remove this card
  from your deck before playing if not playing for ante. UB40
     "Reggae music, can't refuse it, so give us what we want and mek we gwan"
     - UB40, Promises and Lies


Smite! - Bury target creature. 2GG
     1) "I almost tripped over the crater where Henry had been standing."
        - Kharlog, Goblin warrior
     2) "Damn that's a flat Lizard!" - Brashul, Mage
     3) "It happened so fast, I didn't see anything!" - Prock, Lagoon dweller


Voidlace - Change color of target permanent or spell to colorless. 1
Yippee! - F**k the world. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
     "F**K!!!" - Sauerwein
More recently, in October of 2000, nine UCSB Expansion Set cards, long thought lost, were unearthed (again by Michael Thorpe). Here they are!
Pickpocket - When Pickpocket comes into play, choose target player. Whenever
you draw a card, you may choose to draw it from that player's library instead.

Dorm Food - Cumulative upkeep: BB. During your upkeep put a -0/-1 counter on
all creatures in play and do 1 damage to each player. 2BBB

ResNet - Whenever a creature is tapped, place a Latency counter on it.
Creatures with Latency counters have a Latency counter removed instead of
untapping during their controller's untap phase. 1WWW

Protection from Counters - 0: Remove a counter of your choice from creature
Protection from Counters enchants.

All Nighter - For the rest of this turn, tapped creatures may tap an additional
time, but creatures doing so will take an additional untap phase to fully
untap. 1WW

Iceplant - Wall. 0: Regenerate. 0/1 G

Leon - Legend - If Leon does damage to an opponent, gain control of one of
that player's creatures at random. 1/1 1UUR

Billy - Legend - 1: Remove Billy from play; he returns to play at the start
of your next untap phase. 2/3 3WW

Uzi Bazooka - Tap+sac: Deal 5 damage to each creature and player, and take 2
damage for each creature and player damaged this way. 5

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